The Rustin Chronicles: Part 1 - funny moments from the past 4 years

It’s fact that kids say the darnedest things. I’ve heard so many parents say “Oh the stories I could tell!” however after too many years it’s harder to remember the details or the “punch line” to those funny kid stories and moments. I wanted to make a point to document all the wittiness and are-you-serious moments of my son, so often I would tap away on my phone saving all the too-good moments in my notes. I’m sure when she gets past her “mama mam mam mamaaa mama” phase, I will journal my daughters comic relief also.


In lieu of my son turning 4 today, I thought I would blog these sad and amusing stories for current laughs and future (embarrassment)? If he’s anything like his daddy (and he very much is) there won’t be any embarrassment anyway so. Without further ado, happy birthday my sweet bird! We love you bunches!


the beginning of year four.

July 9, 2017

So picture this.... Rustin has literally been following me everywhere today. If I went into the kitchen/livingroom he'd come chasing after me with his super fast and awkward crawl. If I opened a door in the hallway he'd come firing down trying to get into the room before I came back out and shut the door. So I got out my Swiffer Wetjet to mop the kitchen, walked into the kitchen, sprayed the floor and start to mop. My little tagalog sat in the doorway of the kitchen for a minute watching. He then picked up and hauled with his speedy, awkward crawl towards my newly mopped floor. Needless to say, the second his hands and knees hit the wet floor he literally (I kid you not) slid across the kitchen. Y'all, I can't breathe. My almost 10-month-old just had his first slip-n-slide experience. 😂



March 28, 2018

Here are some stories for you.... This right here is the most meticulous little man I have ever met. While he does get really angry at his trucks, tractors, and train track (and has thrown them all across the room before haha), most of the time he crawls over his train track real a careful like and drives his train around it like he’s supposed to. Sometimes he and Riley eat noodles in the recliner and Riley will take a little piece of cheese and set it on the arm of the chair while Rustin’s not looking. When Rustin sees it he picks it back up and put it in the bowl where it’s supposed to go. Repeatedly. Today while I was washing dishes I accidentally splashed some water on the floor. He grabbed this towel and mopped water up off the floor.... then he walked to the dryer, opened the door, threw the towel in and slammed the door shut. 😳 He opened the door and did the same thing two or three more times making sure that towel was staying there I guess haha. I’ll be the first to say that he drives me crazy sometimes but oh my gosh, he is the smartest little person! And don’t bash me, this is not me saying that I want him to grow up super fast, but I will say I am excited to see the young man that he continues to grow into. I’m so proud of him. 💙



September 4, 2018

Yesterday, Rustin and I were at Walmart and a older lady came walking by and said “Well hey there cutie!” smiled and waved at him. Much to my surprise, instead of his normal sweet “Hi” in return, I’m pretty sure the exorcist came out of him and he practically barked at her.

It was that moment, that I’m pretty sure a little bit of my father came out in me.



October 30, 2018

A week ago I was the mommy of a sweet two-year-old who loved going to Walmart and his response to most yes/no questions was: “Yeea-uhh.” Today I’m the mother a teenager who screams and carries on in the store and his reply to everything is a very abrupt: “Yep.” 😳 What the heck. 🤦🏻‍♀️


February 21, 2019

I shouldn’t laugh at this because as a mommy it hurts my heart and it’s sad to see him hurt.... but his reactions are so funny sometimes. Rustin has the worst growing pains and muscle cramps, like he even cries sometimes because his legs hurt so bad. Well he just had a really bad foot cramp and was really upset and I said, “Do you need help? Come here I’ll rub it.” So he tried to get up and his little toes were all pointed and as he limped over to me fussing he said, “It’s ‘tuck (stuck).” Poor kid. I had to tell him what it was and he said, “foot c’amp?” I could probably have a story from every single day this boy is so funny. Hopefully this growing spurt #73638385 will be over soon.



March 16, 2019

Y’all I could seriously post a story about my boy child every single day.

I had to go to Old Navy to return something and Rustin kept messing with the keypad at checkout. The little cashier girl asked him if he wanted a balloon and he very enthusiastically said “Yes!!” She went back to grab a balloon and fill it up and he let out a very excited squeal and said “Yes, let’s do it’!” 😂 And then he told her thank you about 50,000 times after she gave him the balloon.

Needless to say his joyful heart definitely brings joy to me, Riley and probably lots of other people that don’t even know him. 💙



March 26, 2019

Your Daily Rustinism:

This morning we told Rustin to sit on the stool in the kitchen so he’d stop running through the mess on the floor that Riley was trying to sweep up. So he jumps up on the stool and sighs and exclaims: “Kee me!!” Which after half a dozen repeats at our request we realized he was saying: “You’re killing me!”

......we aren’t going to say who he got that from. 🙋🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️



June 28, 2019

Took a sprinkler to the face trying to untangle the water hose. It was the best 3 seconds of my toddlers life when I screamed and ran away ‘cause it was so freakin cold. You should have heard his wicked laughter. 😆



August 1, 2019

When I was little we had a neighbor that used to tell us / his grandkids whenever we fell or something to “Come over here and I’ll help you get up.”

I now have an almost 3-year-old that when he falls and dramatically cries “Help me!” I say “Come over here and I’ll help you get up.”

And I wish I was joking when I tell you that he seriously stops whining / crying and stands up, walks to my feet, falls over again and says hollers “Help me!”

Oooo the drama!! 🤦🏻‍♀️😆



August 3, 2019

Of all the moments that Rustin has, sometimes he is also incredibly sweet. I’m not really sure where he gets half of the stuff either. I had Elsie laying in her crib earlier today and he came over and pulled himself up on the rails on the side of her bed (which he’s not supposed to do). But he peeked into her crib, saw her laying there and said “You’re my best friend!” Cue the warm fuzzies. I hope he feels like that about her forever.



August 6, 2019

I’m like 95% sure that I just watched my toddler walk up to his sister (who is laying on her play mat), take his thumb and wipe it across her forehead in slow-mo and whisper: “Simmmmmmbaaaaaahhh.”

🦁 #ExcuseMeWhileIGoDie 😂


August 19, 2019

Some days I can’t handle this kid. 😆 Since this “interview” below, he has head-butted me on the cheek bone so hard that I cried and then he sat there with me and said “Let me see it...... it be okay.... daddy come home and it be all better.” He’s the definition of a mess haha. 💙


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CHILD INTERVIEW ||

Whats your name? “Rustin.”

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How old are you? “Two fingers.”

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What’s your favorite color? “Red.”

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What’s your favorite food? “Rice!”

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Who is your best friend? “Elsie.” (Yes, he said this)

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What is your favorite song? *Sings Mickey Mouse clubhouse*

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What’s your favorite show? “Wall-E.” (That’s a movie, but okay)

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What’s your favorite animal? “Lion King.” (Haha)

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What are you scared of? “Dinosaurs?” (A creepy Dino dragon toy really freaked him out this weekend.)

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What makes you happy? “Daddy makes me happy!” (Thanks kid - I gave you LIFE! Haha)

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Where is your favorite place to go? “To Walmart.” 😂

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What do you want to be when you grow up? *Makes thinking noises*

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What does love mean? “Mama.” (Okay, he may have just redeemed himself lol 😆 and now I feel all fuzzy inside.)



August 30, 2019

I’m trying to figure out all of the things for Rustin’s 3rd (wow) birthday party. We were talking about it and he said wanted to go pick up his birthday and put it in the car in the back seat haha. Oh child. 💙



November 25, 2019

I bought Rustin those alphabet magnets for the refrigerator. Well this morning he put his back on the refrigerator and said: “I’ll buy an A!” Then he turned around and moved a bunch of the magnets around. I believe we watch Wheel of Fortune way too much.


December 5, 2019

Me: “Rustin, am I good mommy?”

Rustin: “No.”

Me: “Why?”

Rustin: “Cause you don’t listen.”

😐


December 10, 2019

*Dramatically bawling his eyes out over nothing

Me: “Rustin stop crying.”

Rustin: “Anybody can cry!!”



February 17, 2020

Nobody:

Rustin: “Mama, thanks for understandin’ me.”

Me: “What?” (All parents everywhere, yes I know that was not the right answer.🤦🏻‍♀️)

Rustin: (patting his chest) “Thanks for makin my heart feel better........ just say ‘welcome’.”

Me: Welcome? 😳


February 17, 2020

Me: “Here buddy sit here and eat these Cheerios, I have to go downstairs and work out.”

Rustin: “Workout? So you can be big and strong?”

Me: “Yeah buddy, something like that.”

Rustin: “Big and strong.... Not like you. Like me?”

—😳🤦🏻‍♀️Sure kiddo haha.


February 26, 2020

Rustin went to AWANA tonight and I’m talking to him about it. He’s like the biggest kid in the whole class of course so I’m kind of worried about him bossing kids around and kind of being mean. Well I asked him what he did to a certain little kid tonight and he says: “What kid?” I responded the little boy in your class tonight. He held up his fingers and replied, “You mean that little bitty tiny boy?”

😳🤦🏻‍♀️😂


March 4, 2020

Conversations with Rustin — Part I —

Driving home from AWANA, we were talking about Rustin getting married (don’t ask me how that got started) and I said that his wife will be really sweet. He said “I’ll have a wife??” and I said yes. And he said “When I’m bigger?” and I said “Yes, definitely when you’re bigger you will have a wife.” To which he giggles and says “And I’ll have a beard!!!! And it will be hilarious!!” I said “Yeah sure you’ll have a beard too, if that’s what you want.” He makes a really silly fish face expression and said “Ill have a beard be on my chin... it’ll be the itchy faanngggs (things)!!”



April 5, 2020

Riley and Rustin are sitting in the truck because Riley is trying to install a new radio. Rustin was piddling around and found a bottle of hand sanitizer on the floorboard, “Daddy is this yours?”

Rustin’s been messing with everything lately (you know, threenager life), so trying to tone down his frustration, Riley replied, “Yes buddy.”

Rustin’s reaction was hardly anything you could get ill over when he exclaimed, “Soapitizer!”



April 13, 2020

Rustin: Mommy tell me the story of how this got in here. (He is referring to the roast that we are eating.)

Me (officially exhausted from the nonstop jabber): Rustin, I don’t know the story about everything.

Rustin (extremely enthusiastic and cheerful): Yeah! Once upon a time there was a cow and he jumped in there and he fell down and went ‘splash tssssssssss’.


This child is morbid.

April 13, 2020

Rustin was singing in the shower and his lyrics resulted in me having to text my husband:

“‘I back the trailer in the water,

Got my bass boat in the water.’

Did you sing this once or is he literally making this up on his own? 😆😆”

April 15, 2020

Riley calls the house phone to talk to Rustin. Rustin is mad at me so he takes the phone and darts towards his room telling Riley what he can’t do anymore haha.

How old is this child again? 😳😆

April 26, 2020

Rustin asked me if we were going into Walmart. I told him not today. Now I generally don’t like shopping anyway (grocery pickup for the win) but it struck a cord with me when he asked, “Is Walmart sick?” 😕 Not exactly little man, not exactly.


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You can say this with his southern accent.....

“When the black phone wrangs daddy’s comin home.”


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Also he wanted to know why I didn’t go to work anymore so I just told him I was out of work right now and I’d go back later. Then I asked him if he liked it when I went to work or if he liked when I stayed home and he said I like when you stay home with me.

Still not selling my gear. Sorry little man haha.

May 1, 2020

Playing in the driveway with chalk art and Rustin smiles and sighs, “Mommy. We are living in a dream!”

May 7, 2020

Almost feel ashamed to say this. I also feel somewhat un-American. I haven’t made it a point to teach my child nursery rhymes. Elsie has a toy elephant that sings half a dozen or so nursery rhymes however and Rustin has picked up on all of them.

Today we were sitting out on the porch rocking in the rocking chairs, eating a snack, when Rustin exclaimed: “I see an eagle!” up overhead of soaring in circles. My vain attempt to be funny started pathetically singing God Bless America. I didn’t finish the song but as we sat in the coming silence Rustin looked thoughtful and then said, “Don’t sing that song, sing the one about the eagle!” I was confused and asked what song about the eagle.. he paused for a moment and began to sing, “Pop goes the eagle.”

Friends, I am understanding, yet horrified. And I assure you I explained the difference. Rustin, my dear child, that is not a song about an eagle. That would be a song about a weasel..... and we do not ever “pop” eagles! God bless America, God bless Rustin, and God bless Rustin’s poor parents! 😆


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Rustin flies down the driveway on his tricycle, turns and tears under the carport and stops, “Whew! That’s old school!!”

Uh – what??



May 27, 2020

“Can I have some gorilla?”

We have discovered this means “granola”. 🤦🏻‍♀️

June 7, 2020

Me: When we get back to the house I’m sending you outside to play until you run your wheels off.

Rustin: I don’t have wheels. I have legs and feet!

June 21, 2020

Setting — Not listening most of the morning and it’s only 9:30a. Praying before breakfast with his usual “Dear God”. Due to numerous threats about canceling our Father’s Day plans if he doesn’t behave, he finishes his prayer like so: “.....Help us to be good and eat us food. Ame — and help me to be a good boy and let us go to grandma’s and Bebbie’s and play with Molly and Jesse and AdOm. Amen.”

— true words from our optimistic 3 year old.

July 10, 2020

Rustin and Elsie are staying at Bebbie’s because Riley and I are fishing a night tournament. After baths, Bebbie goes and gets Elmo jammies. Rustin saw them and said, “Are those for Elsie?”

“Yes.” Bebbie replied.

All the aww’s were cued when Rustin said, “She looked so beautiful last time she wore those!”

July 21, 2020

Rustin’s “grabbing” his jammies and I said “Rustin go pee!”

He said, “I don’t have to!”

“Go anyway!” I told him.

*Whining but walking towards the bathroom nonetheless*

“But nothing’s going to come out!!”

July 22, 2020

Riley, Rustin and I are sitting at the table eating chicken nuggets/strips and somehow Rustin got our attention saying something about closing his eyes. We both looked at him as he took a bite of nugget, chewed once, and slowly closed his eyes going “mmmmm” kind of like a burger commercial.

“What are you doin that for?” Riley asked.

As he finished his nugget Rustin replied, “Because this chicken is sooo good.”

🤣🤣

July 26, 2020

Exact quote from Rustin:

“Food is my FAVORITE!!”

August 2, 2020

I told Rustin that the Walmart people are going to throw our food away if we didn’t hurry up and get it. He said “you mean those girls” and I said “what?”

“You mean those man’s??” I said I don’t know what you’re talking about he goes, “those Walmart people” hahhaa

August 5, 2020

So Elsie, Rustin and I are all laying on our bed in my room. I was giving Elsie a bottle and hoping the Rustin got drowsy in the dim light. It was about 9pm, I had just a lamp on in the room and we were waiting for Riley to get home from work. Rustin was laying down near my feet and I told him that it was getting late and we would all need to go to bed soon.

He reached over and started petting my leg which was very weird, saying, “You’ll see, daddy will be home soon and it’ll be okay.”

“What are you doing? Who says that??” I asked, slightly amused and confused.

He threw out his sweet closed-mouth smile and said, “You do!”

August 14, 2020

Riley is on night hitch so I let Rustin fall asleep in our bed. Before he went to sleep he leaned over and gave me a kiss.

“Aw that was sweet!” I said.

“Yeah,” Rustin replied sweetly, and then more matter of fact, “I have a heart on my forehead!”

“You what?!” I exclaimed.

“It means love.” Was all he said.


+++++++


I’ve had a rough day. Beyond emotional. Not living in the moment but dreading a day that’s not even here yet. Trying not to tear up for the 12th time as Rustin laid his head on me I said, “Buddy, you’re just growing up on me. Someday you’re going to move away and I’ll miss you a ton.”

He had a reflective pause, “No no no, I’ll come back!”

I hope you do buddy. I hope that so much.

August 21, 2020

I got my hair done today went then picked the kids up from Riley‘s parents and we were in the car driving home. I looked back at Rustin in his car seat and asked if he liked my hair because I got my hair done today.

“Did you cut it or something?” he asked.

“No buddy, I colored it. It’s darker now.“ I replied. There was a short pause and then he said, “ooooOOOOoooo!”

There is never been an unamusing or dull moment with this child. 😆

September 16, 2020

Discussing birthday breakfast options.. Riley says, “Maybe we can have pancakes!”

I mentioned we could do waffles too.

“Waaahhhfulllzzz?!?!” Rustin exclaims.

“Waffles,” Riley repeats slowly, “Yeah that’s kind of like pancakes....that have been stepped on by a pair hiking boots.”

September 16-17, 2020

Elsie woke up in the night fussing and hungry — yay for growth spurts. I went and got her out of the crib and we went to the kitchen to get a bottle. Being careful not to wake Rustin, I tiptoed back into their room to put her back in bed. Needless to say he starting stirring. It was wayy to early for him to wake up so I grabbed his blankets and covered him back up and tucked him in a little bit.

“What day is it?” He muttered sleepily.

“It’s still night, buddy.” I told him, hoping not to alert him completely awake. (Mommies need sleep right?) “Sissy woke up crying and needed a bottle. Go back to sleep.”

There was no retaliation as he adjusted his head on his pillow. In his half asleep voice he asked, “How many am I?”

I knew he was excited about his birthday but, technically, with his 4:10pm delivery time 4 years ago, I wasn’t lying.

“You’re still three, little dude.” I replied/or lied, you be the judge. “Go back to sleep now.”

Nothing else was said. Gosh, he’s going to be so excited about his birthday when we all get up.

I’m hoping for a really good day.

I can’t believe he is FOUR.

But for now I’ll set aside my disbeliefs and just get whatever precious sleep I have left.

We’ll celebrate at 4:10pm, sweet boy. 💙


Dear Rustin,

You'll always be my favorite boy.

Love, mommy

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